Only for the Queen

Here's some comic relief for you all, courtesy of my life of course!!!!

I'd like to start off this post by letting you all know that Queen Ifrica is one of the REALEST talents to ever take hold of Reggae music. All hail the Queen!!!

With that said, story time: After missing out on a couple of performers that I really wanted to see, I decided that I will no longer let other people hold up my plans in life. So, in TRUE loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenager fashion, I went to SOB's last night BY MYSELF! I walked in and immediately headed for the bar to get my energy drink to occupy my hand so that I wasn't the loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenager that stands alone in a club and doesn't even sip on something. After scoping out my surroundings, I decided to stay in my current spot since it was on a platform and had a clear view of the stage.

Since showtime started about an hour after my arrival, I couldn't just be the loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenager that stands still when there's good music playing and a whole bunch of people dancing around her... So, I added myself to the moving abyss of bopping Rastas chanting down Babylon and chasing after the random white women and other "Empresses" in the surrounding area. This BIG Rasta man had been standing on my left for about 40 minutes and out of nowhere, he decided that he's going to provide my next energy drink in a glass cup with ice and red sipping straw (of course my drink had to at least look like an alcoholic beverage because loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenagers turn into alcohol abusers).

Squeeze takes the stage and announces that the show is going to start. The crowd was thick with anticipation and as the band began playing, that thick anticipation turned into a mass of fans shouting IFRICA!!! IFRICA!!! As I LOVE LOVE LOVE the performer, I'm singing and dancing and swaying and shouting RASTAFARI like a wannabe Rastafarian fool... A hand reaches over my shoulder and awaiting me, I see yet another energy drink in a glass cup with ice and red sipping straw. SCORE!

I got a new friend... a handsome Jamaican man who only spoke to me in his American accent b/c it's obvious that this loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenager is not of his nationality. Once the performance was over, the new friend carried me over to take a picture with the wonderfully GREAT performer. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, this random woman turns to me as the performance starts and pulls me to stand in front of her boyfriend so that I could see the stage better (since I'm so small)!

All in all, I've decided that EVERYONE in my section caught on to the fact that I was a loser/outcast to society/suicidal teenager and went out of their way to show me a good time. I have to start going out by myself more often!

So ends this week's adventure of STAR. Over and out!

It's Elementary...

Like most people in my age group, I too have fallen victim to the wonderful world of social networking. Every morning, I sit down at my desk with my breakfast of choice and log on to Facebook, anxious to see what's awaiting me on the other end.
Of course there are the friend requests and horrible photo tags that always lead to a day full of hilarious comment notifications... but some days, a rare gem waits for me in my inbox.

Today, I received a message that nearly knocked me out of my seat! It wasn't the person that sent me the message that made me almost die. It was by far the content. The three lines of absolute confusion went as follows:
"HOW U BEEN MS LDY!!!!DIS IZ ______ FROM (insert high school name here)!!!I AINT SEEN YA SXY SELF IN MAD LONG SINCE HIGH SKOOL!!!I SEE U B ADVENTURIN LIK
CRAZIIE HUH!!!"
I was floored! While I miraculously understood everything that he was asking me, I was amazed that THIS was a product of MY high school. So in true STAR fashion, I had to entertain him. I replied:
"Hey you, what's up?!? It's been a very long time. How's life treating you? You know me already, I always liked being daring and different so, I'm all over the place. Lol"
To which he replied:
"WELL IM GOOD!!!GOTTA DAUGHTER!!!GO 2 QUEENZBORO!!!JUS BEIN A M3 DA PERSON I WAS DESTINE 2 B DA MOST REQUEST'D!!!IM CHILLIN THO!!FATHER-LYFE TAK A LOT OUTTA M3!!MY LIL GURL IZ CRAZII!!AN SHE NT EVEN 2 YET!!"

What the hell am I supposed to say in response to that gibberish? While people don't have to treat a message or wall post on Facebook as their next english assignment, I can't bring myself to understand how a 25 year old man who not only has a child, but is also pursuing a college degree can write in such a fashion. Punctuation and grammar are the fundamentals of an elementary education! We cannot complete the 5th grade without demonstrating a full understanding of grammar usage and punctuation, not to mention spelling, yet we graduate high school and throw it all out of the window? This man has a child that will be entering school one day very soon and this is how he types?

Maybe I'm overreacting but, I am slightly offended that he would even send this message to me and want to be taken seriously! You can call me bourgeois or any other name in the book but this mess is simply unacceptable. I have half the mind to reply to him and let him know that I can't understand a word that he typed and that he should try again but this time he should have a dictionary handy. Did that spelling come naturally to him? If I sat down and purpos3ly r3plac3d all of my E's with 3's and mzpelld wrdz just for th3 h3ll of it, I'd just get a headache(certainly close to the one you probably have from reading my last sentence)!

Maybe I'm looking at it in the wrong way. Anybody with the ability to type like that has to be talented. I've obviously mistaken his genius for stupidity!

Over and out!